What To Do If You Broke Up But Still Living Together

Breakup / By
Broke Up But Still Living Together

I’m sorry to hear that you’re here.

Breaking up is hard and I know that it can be tough when you still have to share a space with the person who broke your heart.

But don’t worry, we’ll get through this together!

Let’s start by talking about what happened and why things didn’t work out like they should have.

What went wrong?

How long were you together?

Do you want to take time apart or try again?

You might not know how to answer these questions right now, but don’t worry

We’ll figure this out together! 

I’ve got some great tips for making sure the transition isn’t too difficult.

If there are kids involved make sure they feel loved and cared for in the process.

This means they need to be able to talk about what’s happening in their lives and get support whenever they need it!

Table of Contents

Figure out who is going to move out.

If you’re at the point where you’re considering figuring this out on your own, you’re not alone.

About 50% of couples who break up with each other end up living together for at least a year after the breakup. 

It helps if you know what you want to do before you sit down to talk about it!

Are there kids involved? You’ll need to figure out whether or not one partner will stay in the home with the kids or if they can alternate weeks.

It’s also important to discuss any expenses that might be tied up in the shared property, such as a mortgage.

If you’re not sure what you should do, don’t worry we’ll talk more about this at a later date! 

Breakup Tip #1 Clear your space, clear your head.

You’ve been living with her for months now and you’re still discovering things that remind you of her.

Maybe she left a little shawl in the closet that made it hard to find anything else or maybe there’s a candle on the dresser that makes the whole room smell like her.

This is your chance to make a fresh start in your life and you’ll need to be able to keep the memories at bay to do this!

Clear your space of any reminders of her, remove pictures from the walls, get rid of that candle or anything else that might trigger a memory! 

This will help you feel more at ease in your space and be able to move forward with your life!

Breakup Tip #2 Get out of there.

This is another great way to help you feel better about the breakup, get outside of the home as often as possible!

Maybe even look for an activity that you haven’t been able to do since she left. 

This will help you make new memories rather than remembering only the good times from your relationship!

If it’s going to be too much right now do what you can to get out without feeling overwhelmed. 

You might start out with a walk around the block or just call up some friends and go grab a bite at a coffee shop somewhere nearby!

Give yourself time after this hike before getting back into a serious relationship.  

It’s normal for her to be angry with you and even want to hurt you in any way she can.  

Take a break from dating and focus on yourself until your ex begins to respect you more, which will show that she is no longer trying to get back at you by going out with another guy.

Breakup Tip #3 Get active!

If it turns out that the breakup was primarily because of work or school stress, there are things you can do right away to change that!

Get a lawyer to create an agreement about how the person moving out will be compensated for their share of the rent and bills.

Make a list of shared household bills and who will be responsible for paying them once one partner moves out.

If you are the one moving out, you can also ask if there’s any wiggle room on how much he or she wants to be compensated.

You may have a choice as to whether the house gets sold or if one partner will get the full value of his or her share in cash.  

There are so many factors that go into this decision that it really is best to have an experienced attorney work out a settlement for you once you and your partner have agreed on all other decisions about the separation.

You should both find new places quickly, especially if kids are involved. 

If possible, try and stay within close proximity of each other so you can still communicate easily when needed in order to make parenting easier!

Create a timeline of when you’ll both be gone from the house.

Make sure you have a good end date so that your partner isn’t still paying the mortgage if he or she is no longer living there!

If kids are involved, make sure you set a day for when they’ll move and who will be responsible for picking them up from school.

Matters of the heart can be complex and difficult, but don’t worry we’ll guide you through it! 

We’ve prepared for some of the most difficult situations including dealing with a partner that is more than likely to try and get back at you.

Discuss what you want your living situation to look like in the future, including whether or not there should be any contact between each other and if there are any shared items that need to get divided up.

Make sure that you are aware of what you’ll need to do if this separation is the end of your marriage!  

If one spouse moves out, the legal process could be much different for a divorce than it is for a separation.  

You’ll want to make sure you know where you stand and what the legal system requires of each of you.

Even if your partner has moved out, there might be some issues that will need to be clarified, including whether both of you are still financially responsible for the mortgage or other shared debts.  

If one person has a substantial amount of cash saved while the other doesn’t, there could be a number of issues to consider in terms of how this money will be divided up.

Decide on how much stuff each person can take with them before they leave (you don’t want one roommate taking all their furniture)

Make sure you have a plan for what to do with everything that is left behind, including what can be sold, donated, or thrown away.  

If you are the one moving out and have money saved up from previous jobs, you may be able to pay off some of the debt that your partner still has left over so that they don’t owe as much money once you’re separated.  

If you’re moving out and don’t have any savings, however, this may not be an option for you.

Be sure to look up legal information regarding your situation so that you can make informed decisions about what’s best for yourself and your family!  

You’ll want your ex-partner to know what they are entitled to under the law, which could mean that you owe them more money than if you had been married rather than just being domestic partners.

Get a lawyer involved as soon as possible in order to make sure that everything is settled fairly.

Make sure everyone’s name is taken off utility accounts so it doesn’t stay in someone else’s name after they’ve moved out.

Make sure you’re both getting new credit cards, bank accounts, and cell phone plans as quickly as possible so that your partner can’t take any of those things while you’re gone.

Discuss an idea of how often and when you will speak to your children after the separation, including who will be talking with them first. 

It’s a good idea to decide on what you both intend to say when your kids ask what is happening.

Try and come together with an agreement about how long you will be separated before any contact visits occur.

Create a plan for who will pick your kids up from school if they’re still at the same local schools when you move away. 

Set a date for when each of you can spend time with your children and make sure that it’s not going to interfere with your new living responsibilities.

If you are going to allow them to go back and forth from each house, you may want to decide on a “drop off” and “pick up” time for the child so that it isn’t confusing or difficult for either of your new partners (such as possibly taking them at 7:45 in the morning to your old place while your ex-partner can get them at 3:00 in the afternoon).

Make sure that you both understand where you stand as far as child support payments go!  

You’ll definitely want to make sure that neither of you has any liability in terms of financial responsibility for the kids after a divorce or separation.

Conclusion

There are a lot of things to consider when moving out.

You have to figure out who is going, get the lawyer involved for an agreement about how they will be compensated and create a timeline of when you’ll both be gone from the house.

It’s also important to discuss what your living situation should look like in the future, including whether or not there should any contact between each other and if there are any shared items that need dividing up.

Finally, decide on how much stuff each person can take with them before they leave (you don’t want one roommate taking all their furniture).